Fleeting Moments
by xslashxlovingxslytherinx
Summary: My contribution to AkuRoku Day 2012 8 connected drabbles, each at 358 words. This is a story of finding a love that is fleeting. Canon-compliant.
1. I

Lea's first thought upon waking was that becoming a Nobody and being essentially split into two was incredibly painful and therefore was a process he hoped never to repeat.

His second thought was that he was desperately craving some sea-salt ice cream.

Time passed. He took a new name and slowly forgot what it was like to have a heart to begin with. He was reunited with Isa, and they joined the Organization. But things were different. Isa—_Sa__ïx_—was more distant than he had been when he was a human, and their plans had taken a backseat to handling whatever was going on in the Organization at the time. But it wasn't just Saïx that was throwing him off. It was somehow…everything. Nothing felt…right anymore. It was as though everything had been plunged into the darkness of a late evening, where everything was tinted with shadows and starlight.

Axel eventually decided to blame that on his newfound lack of heart, and didn't dwell on it.

And then XIII came, and it was like the sun had finally risen.

He was identical to that boy he'd met so long ago in Radiant Gardens—_/Ventus/_ Axel's mind helpfully supplied as he examined the newcomer. But Ven's cheerful disposition was nowhere to be found, and this boy went by a different name—Roxas. When he showed no signs of remembering the meeting of their past selves, Axel began wondering what Roxas' connection to Ventus was, if there was a connection at all.

Shortly after Roxas' arrival, they were sitting on top of the clock tower in Twilight Town, talking about hearts. There was a part of Axel that really wanted Roxas to say something to link him back to Ventus.

"Roxas… Are you really sure that you don't have a heart?"

"I dunno. I can't… just look inside. But I figure… if there is something in there—inside us, then we'd feel it wouldn't we?"

"True enough." Axel smiled slightly, handing him an ice cream.

In that moment, he decided it didn't really matter anymore.


	2. II

Friends.

Axel contemplated the word as he sat perched on roof of the tram, letting it take him along the tracks through town. The previous day, he'd told Roxas that they were friends. That sitting on top of the clock tower, eating ice cream and watching the perpetual sunset was what friends did.

He remembered, in his past life, telling Ventus that they were friends after only a short battle and a few passing comments. Isa had teased him about picking up stray puppies, and he'd immediately retorted that he wanted everyone he met to remember him. Because… "Inside people's memories… I can live forever."

When he told Roxas they were friends, he didn't have the same motivation. After all, Axel was essentially immortal now that he was a Nobody. All he wanted in that moment was to have a connection with this kid… This kid who was absolutely not Ventus; this kid who the Organization was building their entire plan around; this kid who had no idea who he was in his past life and who wanted nothing more than something solid, something to hold on to.

This kid who had just materialized on top of the clock tower.

Axel couldn't fight the fond smile that formed on his lips as he saw the blonde flop down unceremoniously. In a matter of two weeks, he'd already come out of his shell, developed a personality that was far from that of Ventus. It was so different that Axel was beginning to wonder how he'd seen any connection between the two, despite their similar appearances. Ventus had been sad when he'd approached him, but it only took a challenge for a battle for a smile to light up his face.

"I'd give anything to see that smile again." Axel murmured to himself as he hopped off the trolley, walking to the snack stand to purchase two bars of sea-salt ice cream.

He'd told Roxas that sea-salt ice-cream was the "icing on the cake" after a long day or a successful mission. But the real icing was sitting together, enjoying the illusion of friendship for as long as they could.


	3. III

"You want to do what?" Roxas asked.

"Bake something. Why? Got something better to do than attempt to make cookies with your best friend?" Axel raised an eyebrow in silent challenge.

"No, but… Do you even know how to cook?"

"How important is that, really?"

"Kinda important."

"I borrowed a book from Zexion. It can't be that hard!"

"I didn't even know we had a kitchen."

Axel rolled his eyes and grabbed Roxas' sleeve, tugging him out of the room and down the hallway. "That settles it. You've been here for two weeks and you barely know your way around the castle. This will be good for you!"

Roxas sighed and followed him, taking a few twists and turns until they arrived at the kitchen.

"Huh. Do we even use this?"

"No idea." Axel shrugged, opening the book and flipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for. "Here. Read me the ingredients and I'll get them out for us. Simple, right?"

"Yeah. Simple." Roxas nodded. "Okay. Um. Butter, sugar, eggs, brown sugar, baking soda, vanilla extract, flour, salt—why do you think it needs salt? I mean. Cookies are sweet, right?"

"Maybe it's like sea-salt ice cream? Balancing salty and sweet?" Axel suggested, rummaging through the pantry and pulling out the ingredients as Roxas listened.

"Maybe… Well. That's everything we need."

"Awesome. I think next we mix it in a bowl?" When Roxas nodded, Axel began assembling the ingredients and mixing them in the order the book stated. "Hey Rox, hand me the-the-oh what do you call it? Vanilla!" He held the spoon up triumphantly, causing flour to fly everywhere, including Roxas' face.

There was a moment when the two merely stood there awkwardly, neither moving until Roxas slowly brought a hand up to wipe the flour off of his face. He smirked as he reached for the spoon and deliberately flicked it towards Axel.

Axel blinked in surprise, a matching smirk forming on his lips. "Oh, it is so on."

They never finished making the cookies.

And yet…

It was a day well spent.


	4. IV

Castle Oblivion was a disaster.

It wasn't so bad at first, even though Axel hated the fact that he wouldn't be able to see Roxas again for an indefinite amount of time. Being in Castle Oblivion was affecting him strangely. He was already starting to notice a change in his behavior. He was guarded around Marluxia and Larxene, hiding behind the easy-going mask he'd created. He didn't feel that shadow of happiness anymore… Not like when he was with Roxas. Axel didn't let himself dwell on that, choosing instead to focus on the mission at hand: watching the other two members of the Organization and searching for signs of betrayal.

But then the Keyblade master showed up and everything clicked. What the Organization was planning, what they needed Roxas for, everything. Sora, the Keyblade, Kingdom Hearts, Roxas… It was all connected. And Sora… Sora was Roxas' Other… his Heartless.

But he didn't even have a chance to decide what to do with that information, because he had traitors to deal with. Of course, the Keyblade master meddled, complicating things even further. And then Zexion had discovered the truth about Axel and Saïx's involvement with the Organization and their plan to overthrow Xemnas, and Axel was forced to betray the only friend he had left in Castle Oblivion.

He spent the next twenty days scouring the place for any sign of the missing witch or Keyblade Master. When the fiftieth day spent in the now-abandoned castle came, he decided he was done wasting time and immediately went back to the World That Never Was to report to Saïx.

"The traitors have been dealt with, half of the Organization is dead, Naminé and Sora are missing. Anything else you wanna know? No? Great. I'm outta here." Axel turned to leave, but Saïx's voice stopped him.

"Roxas was unconscious for several days, and has been forming a friendship with XIV. Staying away from them is in your best interests."

Axel narrowed his eyes, not bothering to look back at Saïx as he retorted. "Yeah, well, my sense of self-preservation isn't as good as you might think."

With that, he was gone.


	5. V

Because the universe simply wasn't fair, Roxas was still in the middle of a mission when Axel finally located him. He waited patiently for the blonde to finish the mission before greeting him with a cocky wave.

"Hey there."

"A-Axel?" Roxas' eyes widened in what seemed like surprise. "No way… You're dead!"

"Really? That's news to me. You'd think they'd tell a guy he died." Axel grinned, leaning against the wall. He blinked in surprise as Roxas launched himself at his chest, bringing his arms around to circle him. "Hey… I'm okay. You didn't really think a coup would get me, did ya?"

"Saïx said everyone had been terminated." Roxas mumbled into his jacket. "I know we don't really feel but… When I found out… There was this choked-up sensation. Like sadness. Or grief. But we don't have emotions so how is that possible?"

"When we interact with each other… Our bodies respond like they would if we had hearts." Axel replied quietly, running his hands up and down Roxas' back in an attempt to calm him down. "Saïx told me that we're like actors in a play. Pretending to have hearts and going through the motions, but none of it is real."

"Felt pretty real when you didn't come back."

"Hey." Axel pulled away and tilted Roxas' face up so he could make eye contact. "I'll always come back to you. I promise. No matter what. Come hell or high water. Got it memorized?"

"Yeah, I've got it memorized, but—" Roxas began.

"No buts. A promise is a promise and—"

"Do you ever shut up?" Roxas huffed in exasperation, grabbing Axel's jacket and pulling him down to press their lips together.

It wasn't perfect.

It was just a dry press of lips, and Axel's eyes were wide open for the duration of it.

But when Roxas pulled away looking confused, as though he didn't know what had come over him, Axel rolled his eyes and pulled him back in for another kiss.

And that one? It was perfect.


	6. VI

There was too much going on. Between Xion's drama, and Axel's almost-daily trips to Castle Oblivion, searching for that accursed room, Axel and Roxas barely saw each other. Some days Axel couldn't even make it to Twilight Town for ice-cream. So, five days after the Kiss, Axel knocked on the door to Roxas' room, duffel bag in hand.

"I'm moving in." Was all he said as he pushed past the blonde and threw his duffel bag into a corner of the room. When Roxas didn't say anything to protest, Axel grinned and flopped down onto his bed. "So. How was the mission today?"

Roxas rolled his eyes but joined him on the bed, lying down so their sides were pressed together as they stared at the ceiling. "It was long. I swear, if I have to fight one more nocturne, or rhapsody, or other music-themed, magical flying creature, I might kill someone."

"My vote is Xaldin. He's creepy." Axel suggested cheerfully. "Or Captain Hook. The guy's a total tool."

"I'm not actually going to kill anyone. But if I was, you'd be top of my list." Roxas nudged him.

"What? That's just not right. What did I ever do to you?"

"Well. You let me think you were dead for almost a month. Then, less than a week after you get back, you decide to take over my room. Seems like more trouble than you're worth."

"Oh, wow. Please forgive my duffel bag for taking up so much space in your overly cluttered room." Axel replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. "You know you want me to live here. We'll be able to see more of each other."

Roxas was quiet for a moment as he considered that, then nodded. "Yeah… We've barely talked since you got back. And things feel…different. Do you think moving in will make things go back to normal?"

Axel sighed and shook his head, shifting his hand so he could link fingers with Roxas. "Too much has happened… I don't think 'normal' is ever going to happen again. Not here."

Roxas squeezed his fingers lightly. "Well. We'll just have to make a new normal."


	7. VII

"No. Absolutely not."

"Aw, c'mon Rox! Why not?"

"Because it's my room. You're just living here."

"So? What's one more tenant?"

"We're not keeping the cat, Axel."

Axel pouted, and the ginger-striped kitten mewled, rubbing against his leg, but Roxas stood his ground. Or he tried to, but standing firm was next to impossible when he suddenly burst into a sneezing fit. Axel quickly snatched the cat away and gave him a funny look.

"Roxas… are you allergic to cats?"

"I don't—achoo!—know!"

"Looks like a cat allergy to me." Axel retorted, and the kitten in his arms nodded as though in agreement. "See? Chess agrees!"

"Chess." Roxas repeated in disbelief between sneezing fits. "You named him after a game?"

"Well. That, too. But it was more of a nod to this cat I met in Wonderland. The Cheshire Cat. Kind of crazy, but really smart, too?"

"You—achoo—named him after a feline psychopath from a world filled with the only Heartless I hate fighting. Either you need to expand your horizons, or I need a new best friend."

Axel put the cat back into the box in which he'd carried it before moving towards Roxas. "Best friend, huh? We're still calling this that?"

"Well, since we don't really know what else to call it—achoo—then I guess yeah. Yeah we are."

The redhead rolled his eyes and placed a quick kiss on the other's lips. "This…" he kissed him again, this time a little deeper. "This is more than that. Got it memorized?" Axel teased, then kissed him again, and the blonde's hands came up to grip the back of his coat, making the kiss last longer than the other two. This time, when he pulled away, Roxas dragged him back down for another kiss, then another, until an insistent meowing and a slight need for air caused them to pull apart.

Chess was sitting on top of one of the shelves in the room, looking down at them with its head cocked in confusion.

"How did he even get up there?"


	8. VIII

All good things must come to an end.

The world needed Sora.

Ignoring the fact that Axel needed Roxas, that the blonde had become the only good thing left in his non-life. Ignoring the fact that Axel had finally gotten Roxas to smile, really smile. Ignoring the fact that even after Roxas' mind had been altered by DiZ, Axel had still fought for him, tried to get him to remember.

None of that mattered.

What mattered was that Roxas had decided to join Sora. It had been his decision. Even after he'd gotten his memory back, he fought Axel instead of going with him, back to their life.

Because Axel had been given orders to destroy him. And he'd fought those orders as hard as he could, he'd spent hours arguing with the other Organization members, with Xemnas himself, even at the risk of being turned into a dusk. But there was nothing he could do. Traitors had to be dealt with. So there was no 'going back to their life'.

And when they'd stood across from each other in the lab basement, the words 'Let's run away together!' died on Axel's lips. Because he looked into Roxas' eyes and saw Sora. It was too late for them. So, rather than stay and watch Roxas join with Sora and vanish from non-existence, Axel pulled his punches. He allowed himself to be defeated and pretended to fade into Nothingness. Because Roxas deserved the chance to say goodbye, deserved to think that he wasn't the only one who would lose himself that day.

"Let's meet again in the next life." Axel forced a smile, not meeting Roxas' piercing gaze.

"Yeah. I'll be waiting."

That broke Axel. Because for Roxas, there was no 'next life'. There was only Sora. And Roxas would get to be human through Sora, but never as 'Roxas', never as the being that Axel had befriended and even come to… love. Well. As much as a Nobody could.

"Silly." He scoffed, sinking further into the darkness, stealing a final glance at Roxas. "Just because you have a next life…"

He didn't stick around to watch Roxas disappear.


End file.
